What Is Marriage?
When I was in my earlier years, I often dreamed about the prospects of getting married. I would, on occasion, look through bride books at all of the beautiful wedding gowns, with their flowing layers of lace and pearls, the veils and flowers, and couldn’t wait until it was my turn to get married. I just knew it would be a dream come true to find my prince charming, and together we would pledge our love and life to one another, and ride off happily into the new world of marriage, to live together forever in harmony and bliss. In reality, nothing was ever anything like I imagined when it came to finding a spouse, and indeed, I really had no idea what marriage was all about.
What I did know, was that I wanted to BE married, and have a family of my own. I wanted the security of knowing another person loved me, and was willing to join with me in creating this family, knowing I could not do this on my own. And, no, I was not willing to settle for just any ol’ Tom, Dick, or Harry, that happened to come along, or that happened to catch my eye. There would be no giving in to sweet talk or empty promises. When I married I was willing to give it all I had for the sake of a good marriage and for the children yet to come, and expected to receive the same from a spouse.
I don’t believe my story is uncommon, but in the world, it seems outdated and old-fashioned perhaps. Today, marriage has become just one of many options for those “in love”, and certainly isn’t the first choice many young people are making today in the way of relationships.
What is marriage really, and why is marriage important?
The institution of marriage is the oldest union known to man in every culture around the world, and has been the basis of society since the beginning of man and woman. In fact, marriage has been, pretty much, defined as one man and one woman coming together in a union, legally united to form the foundation of a family, which becomes the foundation of the society in which they reside. Marriage is intended to prepare the man and woman to become a father and a mother to any children that come to their union. Both the father and the mother then provide unique aspects, that are complementary to the other, within the family unit.
Why does it matter?
Noah Webster defined marriage as “the legal union of a man and woman for life, . . . preventing the promiscuous intercourse of the sexes, . . . promoting domestic felicity, and … securing the maintenance and education of children.” So marriage is meant to keep the man and woman focused on one another and on the rearing of their children, and providing for them.
Marriage is an important element in the bearing and raising of children in a society. Having children within the bonds of marriage provides both a mother and a father in child-rearing, which is important for the well-being of children. Many studies and research confirm that children are better off when they are raised by both parents, in a marriage relationship, where there is security and commitment to one another.
In the early part of this century, there began to be more and more push to redefine marriage, from “between one man and one woman”, to any two people who desire to call themselves a married couple, especially in same-sex couples. The Supreme Court of the United States, in 2015, majority ruled, that same-sex couples should be allowed to marry and have all the rights of a customary married couple. This is redefining marriage.
What are the consequences of redefining marriage?
Ryan Anderson, of the Heritage Foundation, in 2014 testified before the Indiana House Judiciary Committee on the consequences of redefining marriage. He stated, “redefining marriage will undermine the institution. You hear this question: How does redefining marriage hurt you or your marriage? . . . it fundamentally reorients the institution of marriage away from the needs and the rights of children and toward the desire of adults. It no longer makes marriage primarily about ensuring the type of family life that is ideal for kids, it makes it more about adult romance. If the biggest social problem right now in the United States is absentee dads, how will we insist that fathers are essential, when the law redefines marriage to make fathers optional? Redefining marriage would make it much harder for the law to teach that those fathers are essential.”
Another consequence of redefining marriage, has to do with the procreative nature of marriage between a man and a woman. Procreation of children is essential to the continuance of our species. Marriage is the best place for children to be born, where they can learn how to be a family and someday form their own family and procreate as their parents did. Without marriage between a man and a woman, who are procreating, it will not take many generations before society dwindles, and disintegrates.
How do we react to this redefining of marriage?
The latter-day Prophet, Russell M. Nelson, in a talk Disciples of Jesus Christ-Defenders of Marriage stated, “Social and political pressures to change marriage laws are resulting in practices contrary to God’s will regarding the eternal nature and purposes of marriage. Man simply cannot make moral what God has declared to be immoral. Sin, even if legalized by man, is still sin in the eyes of God.”
So, what do we do with this re-defining of marriage in our society? Each of us came to this earth with agency to choose for ourselves what we will do with our time in this life. We do not make choices for those around us. We may not agree with choices of others, as their choices may not be in keeping with our own personal beliefs. Our responsibility is to stand firm in what we know to be morally right and correct. We can love others, and not necessarily like their choices or life-style. We must love others where they are. Only in this way can we be an influence of good in their lives. Only in this way can we help teach our own children and families the importance of making morally right and correct choices in their lives.
I stand for the institution of marriage, and love that my husband loves me, and our family. Together we make a great team. Sometimes he is the strong leader, and sometimes I am the strong leader, and sometimes now, our children are the strong leaders, and are working on building their own marriages and families. It doesn’t get any better than that!
Marriage with a Capital M 